For the tiniest moment...

I am miles away from you;
I can see you right there,
When I close my eyes it isn't true,
But open wide it isn't fair.
They told me that the sunshine
May glow upon my path,
But living on that lifeline
Leaves a burning aftermath.
Tommorow seems too far away
To be the answered prayer,
And when you're lost in yesterday,
Today just does not care.
I fill my lungs reluctantly,
Tell myself to simply smile,
I think I want their sympathy,
But it only lasts a while.
I dance in a fresh energy
And wonder how I could,
I think I'm losing memory,
Maybe I never understood.
I wonder if I dreamt this,
Maybe it all isn't true;
Could you still be the sweet bliss?
Could the answer still be you?
Or are the people right?
Should I believe what they say?
Or hold on to that last night,
And know that we will be Ok?
You're words are on a loop,
Lulling me to sleep,
They're begging me to stoop
To a slow and silent creep
Towards you, to forgive you,
To say it's all just fine,
To hold you and ask: Who
Said that you could not be mine?
And all this is just a moment
Of thought flowing through my heart,
From the look that you just sent,
That tore my peace apart.
But how can I be peaceful
When I must close my eyes to see?
I begin to become hopeful,
Then it all comes back to me.
You could be just happy,
Amongst this whisper, this star,
And though it sweetly hurts me,
I really hope you are.


Ch-chin up.

It's not fair to write a song to a woman, no. Because a woman takes a song into her heart...

"And for the youth, quick, let us strip for him
The thyrus, that his watching eyes may swim
Into forgetfulness; and, for the sage,
Let spear-grass and the spiteful thistle wage
War on his temples. Do not all charms fly
At the mere touch of cold philosophy?
There was an awful rainbow once in heaven:
We know her woof, her texture; she is given
In the dull catalogue of commen things.
Philosophy will clip an Angel's wings,
Conquer all mysteries by rule and line,
Empty the haunted air, and gnomed mine -
Unweave the rainbow, as it erewhile made
The tender-person'd Lamia melt into a shade."
Keats: Lamia, L225-238

I wanted to make a point of which I have been pondering, passionately, of late and this extract was simply perfect. In it's simplicity: Love deciphered is Love destroyed.

How enchanting?

Emotion;

any strong agitationof the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear etc, and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes such as increased heartbeat or respiration, and often overt manifestation, such as crying or shaking.

I'm glistening in your bitter sweet,
Are these tears of gentle joy or those of stifling sorrow?
I'm sparkling this sweat of fear,
Frantically smearing these beads of woe - away!
Excuse me, are you listening?

I'm tangled in your lullaby,
As you hum in heartless harmony, his memory,
I'm hypnotised in your honey,
You're illusory comfort mourns with me,
Excuse me, I feel strangled!

I'm raging from your innuendo,
Concious of the pumping blood, bursting at the seams,
I'm wasting in your enchantment,
Your apex and nadir, how are they parallel?
Excuse me, now I'm ageing!

I'm calm in your vanilla,
This game of hide and seek, curiously pacifying me,
I'm soothed by this aloof,
Belittling my knowledge of your hard, capricious heart,
Excuse me, please do no harm.

I'm aware of your return,
As you bubble, fizz and simmer inside,
I'm using all my strength,
To fight you, stop you, the brutally invincible,
Excuse me, is this fair?

I frisk in your love,
I frolic in your hate,
I tremble in your fear,
And then I breathe.
Excuse me, it's begun again.

Isn't it funny...

...when you think the something is something else. I'll expand...
Sometimes, I hear a word, or more often a phrase and subconsciously assume that it's spelt a certain way when really it's actually just a homophone of the word.
For example yesterday I realised that the TV channel 'pay-per-view' was just that. However, in my head, for some absurd reason, I'd considered it to be 'paper-view' I thought it was really funny. And just then I realised that the phrase 'make ends meet' was 'meet' and not 'meat' - I geuinely thought the phrase was 'make ends meat'. That's hilarious. How positively silly of me.
I just wanted to tell you, hopefully you found it as amusing as I did.X

'This is the distance and this is my game face'

Looking back upon the sweetness,
Though I know it was sour.
I throbbed beneath my clothes,
But my smile could whisper lies.
Now she is gone.
I cannot see in front of me,
My only view is rear.
So I close my eyes, tighter now,
Till the blood boils and bursts.
I'll trap my tears.
Stop kissing my heart, please,
It just feels too good.
You prick and burn and steal it all,
You are the thief to whom I'm paralysed.
I cannot fight.
Your pernicious beauty permeates,
Swallows my vision, numbs my taste.
I reach into the darkness,
And grasp the fluttering fear.
I'm bleeding water.
Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.
I beg of you, endeavor!
My voice ruptures with desperation.
Save me. Save me. Save me.
By doing nothing at all?
I am numb and losing faith,
Of every second, every day.
Is she worthy? Is she sweet?
Is she worth more to you than me?
Who is she?

I miss you, so.
Chin up.