I can('t) see you?

I can see your glazing
like a sugared cake, shimmering
your life at stake, breaking
a little more than I can take.
I can see you crying
tears of pure gold, smiling
through the broken mould, shaking
in your bitter cold.
I can see you striving
to defy your spoof tradition, searching
for a hidden intuition, dreaming
of people who will listen.
I can see you praying
to a God you cannot feel, holding
onto time to heal, knowing
not, not if I am real.
I can see you wishing
on your second-rate science, fighting
the vice of soft compliance, kissing
a dangerous defiance.
I can see you declaring
the words I long to hear, edging
with every sigh you near, longing
to taste this tangy fear.
I can see you paralysed
you beckon me, smothering
all that you could be, yearning
to feel faintly, gently free.

O' I can see you, so
I must close my eyes.
Sorry; I can't see you.

Save me?

Guard your heart (Part 1)

Alba Darcy was one of those rare human beings, who was ruled entirely from within herself by her delicious desires. She emanated a luscious ambience that was perceived by the doubtful as a curious disillusion. Her soft romantic readiness made her every word glisten with a subtle hope and her eyes sparkled in a reassuring way. To hold her glance was a satisfying moment in which every second but the present was made irrelevant. Her laugh tumbled from her lips, each note like a mellifluous kiss that resonated in the air and echoed silently. Should she have the lust to, Alba could break a heart in a single beat but she longed for nothing less. She was a girl whose heart was strong in it's surrender but wistfully weak in it's self-defence. And this, if any, is the single most profoundly humble and dangerous virtue to possess. However, the fact that one can only discover this particular ethic in it's present state, made the deluge of Alba's spirit even more inevitable. It was simple. Alba would only discover the caliber of her paroxysm when she was seduced to release her heart. And it saddens me to apprise you that Alba Darcy released herself to a boy, a boy who, being only human, intertwined Alba's intent loyalty with his own scarred heart.
But, I am getting ahead of myself. For the progression, climax and aftermath of love are all equally consequential. So, I will start at the beginning. When the twinkle of innocence in Alba's eyes still burned bright, still smoldered with a passion, still flared with an intense despondency for tomorrow. That was yesterday.

To be continued...

I dreamed a dream.

Hello. So, last night I had one of those really deep sleeps. You know the ones? When you wake up in the morning and have to wait a minute or so before your brain remembers what day it is and who you are. Then you wonder whether the dreams you were lost in, just moments ago, actually happened. Yes? Well, I had one of those sleeps. And the dreams I had were like snapshots of lots of different films. But one of them is really standing out to me. And I can't stop thinking about it:
I was in the middle of a huge open field, all on my own, and a stampede of horses were charging towards me. They were running really fast and I had nowhere to run because there were so many of them. And I couldn't move my legs, they just wouldn't listen to me, so I was just standing, waiting for them. And then my legs started to run, but I wasn't controlling them. They started running towards the horses. Running at them. And I could hear my heart throbbing in my head. And I could feel it punching my chest. But I couldn't stop running. And it was really terrifying. Then just as they were about to trample on me, my dream would switch to something else. But it kept coming back to the horses. And the same thing kept happening. And I believe it was symbolic. And now I'm not entirely sure what to do in these next few days. My fickle emotions are wearing me out. I'm certainly not a pessimistic person, at least, I try not to be. But this is my outlet. It's like a moment when I don't have to breathe. I can just be calm and pretend this is the real world. And to think, I use to crave the real world...

I see you in the distance,
As you surge towards my heart.
And you're running and you're charging
Just for me.
I stare at you with feeble eyes,
As you race towards my body,
And you're rushing and you're stumbling
Just for me.
I shake, with fear inside,
As you endure to fragment me,
And you're dancing and you're galloping
Just for me.
I feel you nearing to me,
As I flutter longingly,
And you're ruthless and you're running
And you're gracious and you're cunning.
And you're righteous and you're lying
And you're laughing and you're crying.
Just for me.
And I'm tender with Love because you broke me.
Just for me?

3+3=6

The words are on my tongue,
And I can see them in your eyes,
The whispers and the sibilance
That spill such saintly lies.
My heart is in my hand,
With my arm outstretched to you,
And you’re staring and you’re waiting
To simply break it clean in two.
You’ve done this once before,
Then you did it one more time,
And I’ve watched you, analysed you
Dancing to your selfish rhyme.
So, when you see I see you,
You sprucely hush me with your kiss,
Ammunition you've kept hidden
Until such a time as this.
You leave me lost in limbo,
Lacing lies in loyalty,
You tangle me pulsating,
Promise: You will set me free.
But my heart, she cannot take this,
As she quivers in my hand,
She glitters pretty innocence
You'll never understand.
Those words I said were on my tongue,
They're seeping from the seams,
Escaping to my swelling lips,
To save me from your dreams.
So listen when I speak to you,
As this could be the last,
And if you've anything to say,
Well, you better think fast.
There are six words that epitomize
The fluster within me,
Two phrases that I wish to say,
Juxtaposed, two groups of three.

Lullaby.

La la la. La la la. La la la la la la la. La la la la, la la la. La la la la la la la. La la la. La la la. La la la la la la. La la la. La la la. La la la la la la.

Little girl, little girl,
Lose yourself in a rainbow,
All the colours, glowing bright,
Are all that you need tonight,
Kiss away all the pain,
Your heart will beat again,
Gently dance, simply smile,
Love yourself for a while.

Little girl, little girl,
Please just shut your eyes tightly,
Lose the sorrow in your heart,
So he tore your dreams apart,
But the Love, that you yearn,
Is just waiting it's turn,
To come soothe, sweetly save,
Little girl, please be brave.

La la la. La la la. La la la la la la la. La la la la, la la la. La la la la la la la. La la la. La la la. La la la la la la. La la la. La la la. La la la la la la.

So, this is Love.

BANG.
She gasped and inhaled the bitter air. She blinked her eyes open, although she didn't know why. It was just a natural reflex to open her eyes, yet she knew she would see nothing. She was alone. She choked on the atmosphere surrounding her as it stabbed her lungs. She wished that her body would grant her peace by resisting the indelible urge to breathe. But just as her eyes had opened, her lungs contracted. Her oh-so-human body was still fighting for life. If only it knew. But it did not know. Well, you try telling a heart not to beat. It will never listen. It can speak to you, with ever beat, every pulse. Touch your wrist. Touch your thumb. Touch your neck. It's speaking to you. It's commanding you: Live. Live. Live. Sometimes more fiercely than other times. Sometimes it's shouting. Racing. Demanding. Sometimes it's whispering. Soothing. Dancing. But either way, you have to listen. And it will never listen to you. When you're alone, you cannot stop your heart. Not with your bare hands. When you're cold and naked and shaking and alone, you cannot stop it. Not really stop it. Not completely stop it. But still, she was trying. It is stronger than your mind. Stronger than your senses. Stronger than the courage you muster; you coward. And they were laughing at her, and she could hear them as the reluctant symphony of her respiration droned on. The music score of her heart: the simple 4/4 signature, only one bar long. But she could see the end of the bar, and the end of the bar did not end as those two vertical lines were followed by two taunting dots. And the symmetrical reflection lay at the beginning of the bar, sandwiching the notes of her heart. Repeat. And so she lay there, numb. And the drums played on in her head. And she closed her eyes. And she clenched her fists. And she pierced her skin. But the beat played on. And she realised:
This is Love.

The Puppeteer.

So, you're pulling at the strings that move my hands and feet,
You make my body dance and sing, pretending all is sweet.
You move my hands away, away, from what my heart desires,
And tell me that you simply care; You'll save me from the liars.
You tell me I should help myself by following my heart,
Then smother me with how and why my world will fall apart.
You softly paint a broken smile, to ease your guilty eyes,
And tell me that I'm beautiful so I believe your lies.
You dress me in your history, you think you're looking down,
But this is only in your mind, just like your regal crown.
Nobody questions your mistakes, well, you don't think they do,
But they aren't as blind as they may seem, they will decipher you.
Your eyes, they glisten secrets, as you cast away the blame,
So, it never has been you my dear? You fight to clear your name.
You eyeball me, you follow me and snigger at my life,
Whilst all the time convincing them there's no blood on your knife.
But the truth is that it's dripping, it's diffusing in your soul,
It's saturating all you are, the honesty you stole.
And if you cannot see this, if your eyes they cannot see,
Then open up your ears please, and just listen to me.