Emotion;

any strong agitationof the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear etc, and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes such as increased heartbeat or respiration, and often overt manifestation, such as crying or shaking.

I'm glistening in your bitter sweet,
Are these tears of gentle joy or those of stifling sorrow?
I'm sparkling this sweat of fear,
Frantically smearing these beads of woe - away!
Excuse me, are you listening?

I'm tangled in your lullaby,
As you hum in heartless harmony, his memory,
I'm hypnotised in your honey,
You're illusory comfort mourns with me,
Excuse me, I feel strangled!

I'm raging from your innuendo,
Concious of the pumping blood, bursting at the seams,
I'm wasting in your enchantment,
Your apex and nadir, how are they parallel?
Excuse me, now I'm ageing!

I'm calm in your vanilla,
This game of hide and seek, curiously pacifying me,
I'm soothed by this aloof,
Belittling my knowledge of your hard, capricious heart,
Excuse me, please do no harm.

I'm aware of your return,
As you bubble, fizz and simmer inside,
I'm using all my strength,
To fight you, stop you, the brutally invincible,
Excuse me, is this fair?

I frisk in your love,
I frolic in your hate,
I tremble in your fear,
And then I breathe.
Excuse me, it's begun again.

Isn't it funny...

...when you think the something is something else. I'll expand...
Sometimes, I hear a word, or more often a phrase and subconsciously assume that it's spelt a certain way when really it's actually just a homophone of the word.
For example yesterday I realised that the TV channel 'pay-per-view' was just that. However, in my head, for some absurd reason, I'd considered it to be 'paper-view' I thought it was really funny. And just then I realised that the phrase 'make ends meet' was 'meet' and not 'meat' - I geuinely thought the phrase was 'make ends meat'. That's hilarious. How positively silly of me.
I just wanted to tell you, hopefully you found it as amusing as I did.X

'This is the distance and this is my game face'

Looking back upon the sweetness,
Though I know it was sour.
I throbbed beneath my clothes,
But my smile could whisper lies.
Now she is gone.
I cannot see in front of me,
My only view is rear.
So I close my eyes, tighter now,
Till the blood boils and bursts.
I'll trap my tears.
Stop kissing my heart, please,
It just feels too good.
You prick and burn and steal it all,
You are the thief to whom I'm paralysed.
I cannot fight.
Your pernicious beauty permeates,
Swallows my vision, numbs my taste.
I reach into the darkness,
And grasp the fluttering fear.
I'm bleeding water.
Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.
I beg of you, endeavor!
My voice ruptures with desperation.
Save me. Save me. Save me.
By doing nothing at all?
I am numb and losing faith,
Of every second, every day.
Is she worthy? Is she sweet?
Is she worth more to you than me?
Who is she?

I miss you, so.
Chin up.

What is wrong, when nothing is wrong?

My mind is an open book.
So open, that it closed.
Come forward, take a look.

Read the thoughts via eyes.
They'll tell you all I know.
All the truth, all the lies.

But what is the mystery?
The naked orb cannot reveal.
Padlocked by the history.

That's where we'll lay blame.
Because it's been and gone.
But I feel just the bitter-same.

O'where is joy, I pray?
The joy that is outside.
Should it not be the other way?

I'm shaking. I'm weeping.
I'm losing my head.
Where lives the peace of sleeping?

Go wake her, please.
Tell her of me.
Harvest her calm, share her ease.

The power of three.

Sometimes there are no words.
Sometime there are only three.
Sometimes you hold on to those three.
Because they are the only, of which you are certain.
I am certain.

x

Amen?

You love me.
But sometimes you don't show it. You fight.
They love me.
But I don't like how they show it. They fight.
He loves me.
Everyday, he shows it. Look, he's showing it.
With love, not war. So, I see it. Feel it. Try it?
But I am smaller. Younger. Weaker?
I can't tell you, though maybe I should.
Maybe I am the one to say.
But then, it's too late.
You see it yourself, you think I don't know.
I should have told you.
Now I'm in the darkness of my own light.
I leak. Frustration. Contravention.
And I cannot articulate, for I don't understand.
But I do. Yet, I don't.
And then I feel pain.
And then I feel guilt.
And then I feel pity.
And then I feel numb.
So I dance on the rainbow of reality.
For once, she is my peace.
Inside is the storm, outside is the calm.

He is both. Amen?

Ta-da.

'..A very important test is how you act when you can't feel God's presence in your life. Sometimes God intentionally draws back, and we don't sense his closeness.'

Wow.

The naivety of humans never ceases to amaze me. How on earth could I subconciously doubt even slightly, like this?

Well, there is my kick up the bum; it's not about me.
Be led by the holy spirit, not your emotions, right?

Flippin' do that.
Bye.x